Being a mum wasn't something I always dreamed of.
I was really really unsure for the majority of my adult life if I wanted to have kids, if that was my path.
Kids scared me in fact - All that mess & chaos & silliness.
I liked things neat & tidy & intellectual.
And plus, I had big dreams of teaching yoga & travelling & becoming something...you, know of MAKING IT somehow.
And I just couldn't reconcile how I could fulfill that AND be a mum.
But I see now that the two aren't mutually exclusive.
Becoming a mum has broken me down & broken me open in so many ways...
While I still like things neat & tidy, I've been surprised to discover that I kind of love all my little boys toys & clothes scattered around the house.
And I love the silliness!
Yesterday morning Micah & I turned Each Peach Pear Plum into a rap - Micah beat boxing & me on vocals! Ariel was bewildered but thoroughly entertained...such fun!
In the words of The Waifs, "look us here deep in laundry & toys" and I get it now that I have "become something"...
I've become a M-O-T-H-E-R!!
I have "made it".
I grew and birthed and fed a human with my body!!
As if there could be anything more creative or wondrous or ingenious than that.
I've carried life in my body & ive birthed that life & now I get to protect & love & nurture & guide that life.
And this little life reflects back to me on the daily that it's not & never has been about becoming...
It's about UNBECOMING: unravelling all that conditioning that says that that I need to become anything other than mySELF.
Just like my little boy, I arrived here to this world whole, precious & loved...as did you.
My path, your path, our path, THE path, is always about coming back to that Truth.
Motherhood is one epic journey... If you are a mother yourself, I'd love to hear from you in the comments on how this experience has impacted your life, how it's surprised you, and whether you resonate with what I share on it being 'a true path'.